For the longest time, I’ve struggled with my style identity. I always tried to fit in with what style was around me because I was scared of standing out too much. Most times I would change my hair, or my lip color to try to push my own identity. But even so, I went to a super small high school where something like purple lipstick or a wig that looked different word got around and you definitely were stared at.
Clothes have always been super important to me. I’ve always loved attempting to make my own clothes or putting outfits together even when I wasn’t going anywhere. And even though I would be so passionate about clothes, it was always behind closed doors. Whenever I went somewhere I stuck to what I know people would stare at or consider out of the norm where I’m from. Jeans and t-shirt seemed like the was the only outfit wouldn’t see as out of the ordinary, so that’s what I stuck to. It was a huge comfort zone for me so of course going into college it is what I stuck to. My first year of college took a huge mental toll on me and it was obvious in the way I dressed which was an oversized hoodie and jeans all day every day. Not only was it what I knew but it was also what helped keep in a box that I felt I needed to stay in.
At the end of my first year of college, I had decided I was overdressing and looking the way I did. I believe that the way you dress represents the way you felt and if I kept dressing the way I did I wouldn’t be able to come out of the box I had placed around myself. So I decided to get rid of every piece of clothing that I wore as my “comfort clothes” I only kept what I felt could be cute reworked in an outfit. I also decided at that moment to stop buying clothes that either didn’t fit my body or I was buying because I felt like that’s what I should be getting to fit in.
It was honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself, it was like releasing my bad demons and allowing my happiness to flow. And although I’m definitely still learning what my style is, I find myself buying things I like and wearing the clothes that I’ve had tucked away.
I wanted to share a piece of this journey with you all and hope that you guys stick away for the rest of my “finding my style’ journey.